“I hate funerals.”

I couldn’t agree more with D. I get this weird feeling in my stomach, laced with anxiety. I fretted over what to wear, then settled for standard lawyer’s work attire: black slacks, a cinched creme top, paired with a black business jacket. I wear this type of outfit most days of the week, but today…today the clothes make me uncomfortable, and I shift in my seat. 

I’ve noticed this pattern, and I’m not sure that this is true for others but all the times I’ve gone to a funeral in my life, it’s been gloomy outside. Maybe I read too much into things, but I thought it was weird that it’s never failed to be this way..for my Nana, Tata, the various others: there’s always gray-lined clouds keeping watch.

We’ve almost arrived now. We’ll be more than 30 minutes early. The GPS said it would take at minimum 30 minutes to arrive; that was a lie. I usually love to be early, but not today, not now, not to this. 

As much as I want to tell D to turn the car around, I know there’s no escaping it. Time to go inside and do this.