I am an Autobot.

I talked to my oncologist today. She explained the cancer to me in a way I hadn’t heard before.

She said its almost like a car’s computer. She said if the car’s computer is malfunctioning, it might set off the oil gauge or the battery gauge in the car or any other gauge. It doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with the oil or the battery, its the computer system that is not working. So in the same way, when I get leg pains or other symptoms, its not that my.legs are messed up, its that the nerves in my brain that control my legs are being affected and attacked by the cancer so that I’m feeling pain or other symptoms. She said brain cancer is unique in that way, and that its scary because really, you can have any number of symptoms because no part of your body is immune because all the nerves in your brain are at risk. That helped me to feel less crazy about how I feel. Sometimes I feel like I experience so many different pains or weird sensations that I wonder if I’m starting to make things up or lose my mind.

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