This year, "being thankful" doesn't quite look the same for me as it has in the past. I'm dealing with a different type of brokenness that I've never experienced before. My Thanksgiving plans have been tossed high into the air in light of my current physical plight. As I write this, rather than being home … Continue reading A New Take on Gratitude
The holidays are usually a pretty stressful time for most people. Back in 2013, 3.08 trillion dollars was spent in the U.S. on holiday retail purchases. There's quite a fair bit of shopping that needs to get done in 2-3 months, since most stores don't begin offering holiday promotions until Oct. 1st. Between shopping, get-togethers, … Continue reading Keeping God First During the Holidays
I know people who struggle with the idea of God because of how much pain and suffering there is all around us. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I've been asked "How do you believe in God when He isn't healing you and He allows you to suffer?" For quite a … Continue reading When the Giver of Life Meets the Dealer of Death
On Saturday, we impromptu celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary! We woke up early-ish Well, actually, Mosha woke up early while I woke up just in time for us to take Milo to his vet appointment. He hasn’t been eating the past few days and also urinated in the house once, which is definitely out of … Continue reading Tacos in Wonderland
Unquenchable Unable to be quenched - not capable of being satisfied, quelled, or discouraged. I love when God so perfectly orchestrates life in order to meet your needs. For this long I’ve managed to maintain a positive outlook on life, despite the curveballs that are thrown our way. At times, the world around me seems … Continue reading Unquenchable
Hey everyone! Two weeks ago, upon our return from vacation and various treatments, we went to Wednesday night worship service at CalvaryPHX only to find out that they were having a special baptism service. During worship, I felt led to go get baptized. So, without extra clothes or having prepared beforehand, I asked if I … Continue reading A Believer’s Baptism
Hello everyone! I recently had a new medication added to my regimen, and I let my husbeee Dnoch give me the injection. Here’s a quick, impromptu video from the first time he administered the medication. (PS — Excuse the mess and my scrubby appearance! 🤭) Be sure to like and subscribe to receive updates on … Continue reading Letting My Husbee Give Me My Injections
I love this post that my friend Leann wrote concerning me and my cancer diagnosis. Reading how this has affected my loved ones is so crucial because it shows me ways that I can help them to cope with this situation. Pop on over for a read!
It has been said that over time couples begin to look like each other. Their attire begins to mesh into similar shades and patterns. Some couples wear the same shoes. Admittedly, this may only hold true for my parents.
In other cases, dogs look like their owners and sometimes both human and animal have similar personality traits. The Museum of Man, located at Balboa Park in San Diego, has an exhibit called Living with Animals. In this exhibit, there’s a game very similar to Old Maid where the player matches a dog to its owner. At first it seems fairly easy—dogs are said to look like their owners. Well, it’s not. Out of 10, I had only one correct.
In retrospect, those whom we call friends tend to be similar to us before we ever meet. Friends are people that we share similar interests with, otherwise why would we call…
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"The results from your last scan show that the primary brain tumor you have has shrunk one millimeter since you began the clinical trial a month ago." Excitement welled up inside me. Tears flooded my eyes. Finally, positive news. Finally, I'm on track to wellness. Then, my prayers of thanksgiving began. To some, it seems like … Continue reading Zoe: A Symbolic Teddy
Hey everyone! I've had the honor of being featured in Voyages Phoenix's Artistic Voyage article as a trending local artist today. A more in-depth article featuring an interview with me is in the works, and I will post the interview once it's available to view. For now, feel free to check out the article as … Continue reading Voyages Phoenix
Hey y'all! Check out my latest vlog where we talk about chemo and drop a special rubber ducky into the CTCA fountain. Enjoy! https://youtu.be/kTT-WPgEoEk
E. That’s what I will call the man who I met today (for anonymity purposes). We spent two hours talking about anything and everything: life as a cancer patient, family, society, politics, religion, you name it. Despite my social anxiety, I really enjoy meeting new people because I believe that we each have valuable insight … Continue reading A Fighter Named E.
I woke up early on Sunday, and Mosha had gone to the lake to fish some more, so I went back to bed for a few hours. Once he was back, we both showered and checked out of the hotel and headed off to Bearizona, which was only one exit away off the freeway. Bearizona … Continue reading Sunday at Bearizona
This past weekend Mosha and I took a trip up to Williams, AZ, which is located about 30 miles NW of Flagstaff, and 1 hour south of the Grand Canyon. Our original plan was to go up there to take Andrew to Bearizona, an open wildlife park, but Friday night/Saturday morning Andrew came down with … Continue reading Saturday in Williams, AZ
Sorry for the pensive face, but I'm about to wrap up week one of chemo, and I went to go pee only to realize that I had my underwear on inside out all day. I choose to blame this oversight on Lyle, and I am also choosing to focus on the fact that inside out … Continue reading One week down!
“Make sure you rest today. I want to make sure you’re feeling well enough to handle tomorrow.” The tomorrow that Mosha speaks of is the Veteran’s Benefit Car Show downtown where KGDM Life will be performing. The show is from 10am-3pm, and they will be performing around noon, multiple sets if I’m not mistaken, with … Continue reading Prepping for Tomorrow’s Show
Teddy the Therapy Dog DOB: 6.16.13 109 lbs. Fave trick: Shake Fave toy: Anything that squeaks Fave Food: Sour cream coffee cake
Wearing my fave Mickey sweater (thanks @monabeille @brittyzombiehunter) for church and family day! 😃 Also rocking my fresh septum piercing that I got done last night.
I am grateful to have a hubby who pushes me and supports my craft. I am also pretty excited to participate in The Sketchbook Project, where my sketchbook will become a permanent part of the Brooklyn Art Library’s (BAL) collection beginning June 2018! I will be working on my sketchbook from now until April, when … Continue reading The Sketchbook Project
I was fortunate enough to meet this beautiful soul today! She radiates creativity, and I had a blast art journaling with her.
Well, I suppose I am long overdue for a medical/life update. Normally around this time I would be taking a nap, but there’s currently a technician in my house doing technical things, so I can’t go have a nap until after he’s done. Honestly, I should probably try and stay awake until this evening anyway … Continue reading Mini update
Today I added a prayer for my fellow warriors onto the prayer wall. Fight on. ✊🏽
Good food, good people, good times.
The reality of brain cancer. This custom-fitted mesh mask is used to bolt me down on the table while radiation beams are pinpointed at Lyle. This happens 5 times a week for 4 weeks straight.
Cancer hurts those who fight from the sidelines, but it cannot cripple love. Thank you @monabeille @brittyzombiehunter @finchstacey for campaigning for me. Click here to visit fund.
“You never know how strong you are until being strong becomes the only choice you have.”
When you are faced with terminal cancer, one of the things that you inevitably end up doing is evaluating the things you want to do before you die. I was fortunate enough that my family accommodated one of my last wishes by planning a family trip to Disney this last May, where I was able … Continue reading Help Me Complete This!
I stood in the store aisle Pondering which holiday tablecloth piqued my interest the most-- Red with white snowflakes, White with silver trees, Or the rustic reindeer. My hands fumbled, Attempting to match fabric napkins With each design. People came and went, Bumping into my cart, As I still contemplated. On one such occasion, I … Continue reading Breathless
When your reality turns out to be fantasy, mind tricks if you will, it can be an earth-shattering, scary thing. I suspected that the fleeting shadows were figments of my imagination. Sometimes you look from the left to the right too quickly and you think you see something that in reality isn't there at all. … Continue reading Today
Doors. I never knew how scary they could be. I’m currently sitting in a small medical office, waiting for my doctor to knock on the door before he enters to go over my lab results -- results that I already know aren’t positive. I’m not being pessimistic. If you pay attention to your body, you’ll … Continue reading Doors.
Arguably some of the most touchy subjects to tackle from a Christian perspective are depression and anxiety. It's bad enough that depression and anxiety are in and of themselves complex illnesses, but there are varying perspectives within the church about them. Sometimes some of these views are from people who try to genuinely understand depression … Continue reading Anhedonia
Sometimes unexpected complications arise, but that's when you draw closer to one another and God, and hold on tight till you make it through. https://youtu.be/59b0KuZEGi0
I suppose the next logical step in my journey was to start a video diary of my cancer experience, especially now that I am unable to write as often as I use to. I'm sure all my non-reading friends/family/strangers prefer videos as well. So here is my first video. [I promise, the other videos shouldn't … Continue reading I am: Terminally Fierce.
Well after having numerous emotional breakdowns over the past few weeks, we (My medical team, Mosha and my parents) have decided that its best for me to try to regain some independence. Relying on other people for every little thing has taken a toll on me in many ways, and while I cannot control other … Continue reading Regaining independence, one step at a time
I had a long overdue visit from Finchy today. She was off work, so she offered to take me to my radiotherapy appointment in the morning, then we spent the rest of the day hanging out at my place. We spent a lot of time talking, catching up on everything that has gone on since … Continue reading A day with Finchy
After yesterday's emotional ups and downs, my mom and dad suggested that each day I do something positive each day, like crafting, drawing, writing, reading, etc. Today, I did just that, and decided to start getting my garden ready for planting season. I also decided that I wanted to move my hanging planters from the … Continue reading Horticulture therapy
Today was emotional for me.I don't really have a reason for being emotional today, other than the fact that I just woke up feeling overwhelmed, stressed out and anxious without cause.Radiation went well, considering the fact that you know, its radiation. Afterward, I was scheduled to see Dr. H (my psychiatrist at the cancer center), … Continue reading Emotions are fickle
Today was day one of radiotherapy. For those of you who don't know, radiotherapy uses radiation, such as x-rays, gamma rays, electron beams or protons, to kill or damage cancer cells and stop them from growing/multiplying. It's a localized treatment, so it only affects the area where they direct the radiation. Unfortunately for me, the … Continue reading Radiotherapy, Day One
I had a really good day today.I absolutely cherish days like today: the ones where I'm happy, feel decent, get to do things I enjoy with people I love, and for the most part, forget that there is a disease threatening my very existence.Our day started off the best way possible, by Mosha and I … Continue reading The outside world!
I can't really recall whether or not I had mentioned this previously, but yesterday I wasn't required to go into the treatment center! My levels are at a safe enough level to where I don't require daily monitoring anymore, and that my friends, is very big news for me.I am still required to go every … Continue reading Freedom in moderation
The worst feeling is when your doctor suggests that your parents aren't suited to be your caregivers. Its not for lack of willingness, but because mum herself is ill, and I worry for her health. I get stressed about her well-being and feel guilty when I know she isn't feeling well but is slaving away … Continue reading Something I didn’t want to hear
I've been having more and more anxiety lately, sometimes for no reason at all. Its like I'll be okay one minute, then the next I'm all tears and "woe is me" but I feel like I'm losing it at times. The constant ups and downs are exhausting in all ways possible.For once I would love … Continue reading An-xie-ty
Decision made: radiotherapy.First, I have an appointment to have my planning scan tomorrow. That's where the radiotherapists will measure the precise spots that need to be radiated. I get to lie on a cold, hard slab of metal practically naked while the techs move around me to align my body with treatment areas and then … Continue reading Decisions & Plans
So my pain (unfortunately) keeps getting worse. I've used more pain medicine in the last two months than I have in the last year of having cancer. Our fears were confirmed when I had my PET scan done and found out that Lyle has grown to the size of a golf ball, and I now … Continue reading New tumors & a relentless Lyle
Everyone has an idea of what makes them them, and for me, I have always been someone who likes to think of themselves as strong. When faced with adversity, I choose to state at it emotionless, in the face. Sure, I might be terrified, but I don’t like to show it. I feel the need … Continue reading Even tough people crack
I'm having a hard time finding the will to write. Sometimes I don't feel physically able and other times its because I feel like I have changed. When I pick up my pen or laptop, I find myself unable to put anything of substance down. Nowadays, not a lot matters. The days just pass me … Continue reading Writing because I have to
My pain has grown so much over the last few weeks. I mostly stay at home now, doped up so I can make it through the day. I barely have any interest in anything. I don't have an appetite most days. I feel a lump perpetually in my throat. I tend to dread going to … Continue reading A moment of emo-ness
So its been apparent to me that I've been a little more angry than usual. I feel like it was bound to happen at some point. Although the drugs account for a large portion of my mood swings, I also have to take ownership for my lack of patience and increased resentment over the past … Continue reading Renewed vigor, for the moment