“The results from your last scan show that the primary brain tumor you have has shrunk one millimeter since you began the clinical trial a month ago.” Excitement welled up inside me. Tears flooded my eyes. Finally, positive news. …
Category: Health
A Fighter Named E.
E. That’s what I will call the man who I met today (for anonymity purposes). We spent two hours talking about anything and everything: life as a cancer patient, family, society, politics, religion, you name it. Despite my social …
Teddy the Therapy Dog
Teddy the Therapy Dog DOB: 6.16.13 109 lbs. Fave trick: Shake Fave toy: Anything that squeaks Fave Food: Sour cream coffee cake
Mini update
Well, I suppose I am long overdue for a medical/life update. Normally around this time I would be taking a nap, but there’s currently a technician in my house doing technical things, so I can’t go have a nap …
The Prayer Wall
Today I added a prayer for my fellow warriors onto the prayer wall. Fight on. ✊🏽
The Grim Reality of Brain Cancer
The reality of brain cancer. This custom-fitted mesh mask is used to bolt me down on the table while radiation beams are pinpointed at Lyle. This happens 5 times a week for 4 weeks straight.
When Family Fights For You
Cancer hurts those who fight from the sidelines, but it cannot cripple love. Thank you @monabeille @brittyzombiehunter @finchstacey for campaigning for me. Click here to visit fund.
An All Too Familiar View
“You never know how strong you are until being strong becomes the only choice you have.”
Help Me Complete This!
When you are faced with terminal cancer, one of the things that you inevitably end up doing is evaluating the things you want to do before you die. I was fortunate enough that my family accommodated one of my …
Breathless
I stood in the store aisle Pondering which holiday tablecloth piqued my interest the most– Red with white snowflakes, White with silver trees, Or the rustic reindeer. My hands fumbled, Attempting to match fabric napkins With each design. People …
Today
When your reality turns out to be fantasy, mind tricks if you will, it can be an earth-shattering, scary thing. I suspected that the fleeting shadows were figments of my imagination. Sometimes you look from the left to the …
Doors.
Doors. I never knew how scary they could be. I’m currently sitting in a small medical office, waiting for my doctor to knock on the door before he enters to go over my lab results — results that I …
Anhedonia
Arguably some of the most touchy subjects to tackle from a Christian perspective are depression and anxiety. It’s bad enough that depression and anxiety are in and of themselves complex illnesses, but there are varying perspectives within the church …
I am: Terminally Fierce.
I suppose the next logical step in my journey was to start a video diary of my cancer experience, especially now that I am unable to write as often as I use to. I’m sure all my non-reading friends/family/strangers …
Regaining independence, one step at a time
Well after having numerous emotional breakdowns over the past few weeks, we (My medical team, Mosha and my parents) have decided that its best for me to try to regain some independence. Relying on other people for every little …
Emotions are fickle
Today was emotional for me. I don’t really have a reason for being emotional today, other than the fact that I just woke up feeling overwhelmed, stressed out and anxious without cause.
Radiotherapy, Day One
Today was day one of radiotherapy. For those of you who don’t know, radiotherapy uses radiation, such as x-rays, gamma rays, electron beams or protons, to kill or damage cancer cells and stop them from growing/multiplying. It’s a localized …
The outside world!
I had a really good day today.
Something I didn’t want to hear
The worst feeling is when your doctor suggests that your parents aren’t suited to be your caregivers. Its not for lack of willingness, but because mum herself is ill, and I worry for her health. I get stressed about …
An-xie-ty
I’ve been having more and more anxiety lately, sometimes for no reason at all. Its like I’ll be okay one minute, then the next I’m all tears and “woe is me” but I feel like I’m losing it at …
Decisions & Plans
Decision made: radiotherapy.
New tumors & a relentless Lyle
So my pain (unfortunately) keeps getting worse. I’ve used more pain medicine in the last two months than I have in the last year of having cancer.
A moment of emo-ness
My pain has grown so much over the last few weeks. I mostly stay at home now, doped up so I can make it through the day. I barely have any interest in anything. I don’t have an appetite …
Stem Cell Transplant — Complete!
An update for everyone — I received my stem cell transplant today. It was a rather grueling day: seven straight hours hooked up to various machines getting pumped full of different medicines and eventually, someone else’s blood. But, thankfully, …
Plans & Pneumonia
Hello people! It’s been a hectic few days. I worked most of Friday, and my last two appointments were for Nay Nay & Lee Lee, so after we finished they treated me to dinner at Cherry Blossom Noodle Cafe. …
I’m Angry at Lyle
Well, it has been one heck of a day. Ups and downs for sure… I had an appointment this afternoon to do some follow-up testing. (I completed a similar set of tests at the onset of diagnosis.) The tests …
Medical Update
I received a call from my doctor’s office this morning. They were calling to schedule some preliminary diagnostic tests to test my brain functions such as my memory, comprehension, word recall, etc. Then, depending on my results, I will …
The Scars of Battle
It was a pretty lazy, uneventful day for me. I’ve been dealing with a horrible headache since Sunday. Honestly, it’s rather frustrating that no matter what I do or what remedies or medications I try, the pain doesn’t ease …
Icepick Stabbing Pains
I talked to the neurooncologist today. She said that my head pains are normal because of the pressure that the tumor is creating. She had her assistant email me a list of questions that I should fill out whenever …
Just one of those days
I’ve been sick in bed all day today. This morning when I woke up, Pops took me to Urgent Care, and I was told that I have the tummy flu. So I’ve pretty much spent all day either in …
Taking one for the team
Lots of thoughts swirl through my mind throughout the day. The most encouraging concept is the feeling that I’m taking a hit for the team. Statistically, people get tumors. It’s what happens. I’m grateful that it’s happening to me, …
Learning As You Go
Having cancer is one of those things that you improvise, sort of like playing a made up game where you’re making up the rules as you go along. Living with cancer is not one of those games that comes …
Mortality.
I can’t sleep. It’s not one of my better moments. I keep thinking about how it is already week four into chemo and how fast time is going…It just reminds me that life is fleeting, and I feel like …
My favorite athlete.
Words cannot express how grateful I am for my family. Throughout this trial in my life, they have come through for me like I never could have imagined they would. Today, I was supposed to be in NM with …
Coordination
My hazmat suit matches my ASPCA Vans.
