“The results from your last scan show that the primary brain tumor you have has shrunk one millimeter since you began the clinical trial a month ago.” Excitement welled up inside me. Tears flooded my eyes. Finally, positive news. …
Tag: Cancer
A Fighter Named E.
E. That’s what I will call the man who I met today (for anonymity purposes). We spent two hours talking about anything and everything: life as a cancer patient, family, society, politics, religion, you name it. Despite my social …
One week down!
Sorry for the pensive face, but I’m about to wrap up week one of chemo, and I went to go pee only to realize that I had my underwear on inside out all day. I choose to blame this …
Teddy the Therapy Dog
Teddy the Therapy Dog DOB: 6.16.13 109 lbs. Fave trick: Shake Fave toy: Anything that squeaks Fave Food: Sour cream coffee cake
Mini update
Well, I suppose I am long overdue for a medical/life update. Normally around this time I would be taking a nap, but there’s currently a technician in my house doing technical things, so I can’t go have a nap …
The Prayer Wall
Today I added a prayer for my fellow warriors onto the prayer wall. Fight on. ✊🏽
The Grim Reality of Brain Cancer
The reality of brain cancer. This custom-fitted mesh mask is used to bolt me down on the table while radiation beams are pinpointed at Lyle. This happens 5 times a week for 4 weeks straight.
When Family Fights For You
Cancer hurts those who fight from the sidelines, but it cannot cripple love. Thank you @monabeille @brittyzombiehunter @finchstacey for campaigning for me. Click here to visit fund.
An All Too Familiar View
“You never know how strong you are until being strong becomes the only choice you have.”
Help Me Complete This!
When you are faced with terminal cancer, one of the things that you inevitably end up doing is evaluating the things you want to do before you die. I was fortunate enough that my family accommodated one of my …
Breathless
I stood in the store aisle Pondering which holiday tablecloth piqued my interest the most– Red with white snowflakes, White with silver trees, Or the rustic reindeer. My hands fumbled, Attempting to match fabric napkins With each design. People …
Today
When your reality turns out to be fantasy, mind tricks if you will, it can be an earth-shattering, scary thing. I suspected that the fleeting shadows were figments of my imagination. Sometimes you look from the left to the …
Complications
Sometimes unexpected complications arise, but that’s when you draw closer to one another and God, and hold on tight till you make it through.
I am: Terminally Fierce.
I suppose the next logical step in my journey was to start a video diary of my cancer experience, especially now that I am unable to write as often as I use to. I’m sure all my non-reading friends/family/strangers …
Regaining independence, one step at a time
Well after having numerous emotional breakdowns over the past few weeks, we (My medical team, Mosha and my parents) have decided that its best for me to try to regain some independence. Relying on other people for every little …
A day with Finchy
I had a long overdue visit from Finchy today. She was off work, so she offered to take me to my radiotherapy appointment in the morning, then we spent the rest of the day hanging out at my place.
Horticulture therapy
After yesterday’s emotional ups and downs, my mom and dad suggested that each day I do something positive each day, like crafting, drawing, writing, reading, etc. Today, I did just that, and decided to start getting my garden ready …
Emotions are fickle
Today was emotional for me. I don’t really have a reason for being emotional today, other than the fact that I just woke up feeling overwhelmed, stressed out and anxious without cause.
Radiotherapy, Day One
Today was day one of radiotherapy. For those of you who don’t know, radiotherapy uses radiation, such as x-rays, gamma rays, electron beams or protons, to kill or damage cancer cells and stop them from growing/multiplying. It’s a localized …
The outside world!
I had a really good day today.
Freedom in moderation
I can’t really recall whether or not I had mentioned this previously, but yesterday I wasn’t required to go into the treatment center! My levels are at a safe enough level to where I don’t require daily monitoring anymore, …
Something I didn’t want to hear
The worst feeling is when your doctor suggests that your parents aren’t suited to be your caregivers. Its not for lack of willingness, but because mum herself is ill, and I worry for her health. I get stressed about …
An-xie-ty
I’ve been having more and more anxiety lately, sometimes for no reason at all. Its like I’ll be okay one minute, then the next I’m all tears and “woe is me” but I feel like I’m losing it at …
Decisions & Plans
Decision made: radiotherapy.
New tumors & a relentless Lyle
So my pain (unfortunately) keeps getting worse. I’ve used more pain medicine in the last two months than I have in the last year of having cancer.
Even tough people crack
Everyone has an idea of what makes them them, and for me, I have always been someone who likes to think of themselves as strong. When faced with adversity, I choose to state at it emotionless, in the face. …
Writing because I have to
I’m having a hard time finding the will to write. Sometimes I don’t feel physically able and other times its because I feel like I have changed. When I pick up my pen or laptop, I find myself unable …
A moment of emo-ness
My pain has grown so much over the last few weeks. I mostly stay at home now, doped up so I can make it through the day. I barely have any interest in anything. I don’t have an appetite …
Renewed vigor, for the moment
So its been apparent to me that I’ve been a little more angry than usual. I feel like it was bound to happen at some point. Although the drugs account for a large portion of my mood swings, I …
Patient X
In the patient restroom located on the second floor at the Cancer Treatment Center of America (CTCA), I saw an alarming amount of dried blood on paper towels in the waste basket. The sight made me experience a wide …
Protected: Dear Cancer, Part I
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Stem Cell Transplant — Complete!
An update for everyone — I received my stem cell transplant today. It was a rather grueling day: seven straight hours hooked up to various machines getting pumped full of different medicines and eventually, someone else’s blood. But, thankfully, …
That odd sensation
I wish I knew how to describe how this feels. Each time is different, and I think that’s part of what makes this horrible. You never know how it will make you feel. They do their best to anticipate …
I am an Autobot.
I talked to my oncologist today. She explained the cancer to me in a way I hadn’t heard before.
Plans & Pneumonia
Hello people! It’s been a hectic few days. I worked most of Friday, and my last two appointments were for Nay Nay & Lee Lee, so after we finished they treated me to dinner at Cherry Blossom Noodle Cafe. …
I’m Angry at Lyle
Well, it has been one heck of a day. Ups and downs for sure… I had an appointment this afternoon to do some follow-up testing. (I completed a similar set of tests at the onset of diagnosis.) The tests …
Medical Update
I received a call from my doctor’s office this morning. They were calling to schedule some preliminary diagnostic tests to test my brain functions such as my memory, comprehension, word recall, etc. Then, depending on my results, I will …
Just thoughts.
I don’t feel like a good person. I wanted to open with that because once the truth is stated, there’s nothing left to hide. I could have done so much more with my life up to this point. I …
Learning As You Go
Having cancer is one of those things that you improvise, sort of like playing a made up game where you’re making up the rules as you go along. Living with cancer is not one of those games that comes …
The Battle I Didn’t Choose
Today is the start of my fourth week of chemo, and sometimes it’s still surreal that I have brain cancer. It just doesn’t seem real. In so many ways I feel the same as always, almost like nothing is …
