This year, "being thankful" doesn't quite look the same for me as it has in the past. I'm dealing with a different type of brokenness that I've never experienced before. My Thanksgiving plans have been tossed high into the air in light of my current physical plight. As I write this, rather than being home … Continue reading A New Take on Gratitude
I know people who struggle with the idea of God because of how much pain and suffering there is all around us. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I've been asked "How do you believe in God when He isn't healing you and He allows you to suffer?" For quite a … Continue reading When the Giver of Life Meets the Dealer of Death
E. That’s what I will call the man who I met today (for anonymity purposes). We spent two hours talking about anything and everything: life as a cancer patient, family, society, politics, religion, you name it. Despite my social anxiety, I really enjoy meeting new people because I believe that we each have valuable insight … Continue reading A Fighter Named E.
Well, I suppose I am long overdue for a medical/life update. Normally around this time I would be taking a nap, but there’s currently a technician in my house doing technical things, so I can’t go have a nap until after he’s done. Honestly, I should probably try and stay awake until this evening anyway … Continue reading Mini update
Today I added a prayer for my fellow warriors onto the prayer wall. Fight on. ✊🏽
The reality of brain cancer. This custom-fitted mesh mask is used to bolt me down on the table while radiation beams are pinpointed at Lyle. This happens 5 times a week for 4 weeks straight.
Cancer hurts those who fight from the sidelines, but it cannot cripple love. Thank you @monabeille @brittyzombiehunter @finchstacey for campaigning for me. Click here to visit fund.
I stood in the store aisle Pondering which holiday tablecloth piqued my interest the most-- Red with white snowflakes, White with silver trees, Or the rustic reindeer. My hands fumbled, Attempting to match fabric napkins With each design. People came and went, Bumping into my cart, As I still contemplated. On one such occasion, I … Continue reading Breathless
When your reality turns out to be fantasy, mind tricks if you will, it can be an earth-shattering, scary thing. I suspected that the fleeting shadows were figments of my imagination. Sometimes you look from the left to the right too quickly and you think you see something that in reality isn't there at all. … Continue reading Today
Doors. I never knew how scary they could be. I’m currently sitting in a small medical office, waiting for my doctor to knock on the door before he enters to go over my lab results -- results that I already know aren’t positive. I’m not being pessimistic. If you pay attention to your body, you’ll … Continue reading Doors.
Arguably some of the most touchy subjects to tackle from a Christian perspective are depression and anxiety. It's bad enough that depression and anxiety are in and of themselves complex illnesses, but there are varying perspectives within the church about them. Sometimes some of these views are from people who try to genuinely understand depression … Continue reading Anhedonia
Today was day one of radiotherapy. For those of you who don't know, radiotherapy uses radiation, such as x-rays, gamma rays, electron beams or protons, to kill or damage cancer cells and stop them from growing/multiplying. It's a localized treatment, so it only affects the area where they direct the radiation. Unfortunately for me, the … Continue reading Radiotherapy, Day One
Decision made: radiotherapy.First, I have an appointment to have my planning scan tomorrow. That's where the radiotherapists will measure the precise spots that need to be radiated. I get to lie on a cold, hard slab of metal practically naked while the techs move around me to align my body with treatment areas and then … Continue reading Decisions & Plans
Everyone has an idea of what makes them them, and for me, I have always been someone who likes to think of themselves as strong. When faced with adversity, I choose to state at it emotionless, in the face. Sure, I might be terrified, but I don’t like to show it. I feel the need … Continue reading Even tough people crack
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Hello people!It's been a hectic few days. I worked most of Friday, and my last two appointments were for Nay Nay & Lee Lee, so after we finished they treated me to dinner at Cherry Blossom Noodle Cafe. I was looking forward to our dinner all week because I am currently obsessed with their Chicken … Continue reading Plans & Pneumonia